Every parent has hopes and dreams for their child. But if your child has fallen in with the wrong crowd and is growing into a rebellious, angry teen, you may have given up on a lot of those visions for their future.
Before you lose all faith, know that there are options, advise the experts at Turn-About Ranch, a residential treatment center for teens on a real horse and cattle ranch in southern Utah. With guidance and support, struggling teens can stop following the crowd and become leaders of their own lives.
“So many teens don’t think they’re leadership material and their parents have lost hope -that is, until they come to the ranch and develop the skills to stand up for what’s right even under peer pressure,” says Jeanne Fry, LCSW, ACSW, a therapist at Turn-About Ranch. “We call it a crash course in leadership.”
Working Through the Levels
Turn-About Ranch employs a four-tiered level system to help teens develop leadership skills. As teens demonstrate greater ability to make good decisions and achieve established goals, they graduate through the levels and gain more freedom.
“With leadership comes more responsibilities and more trust,” says Luke Hatch, LCSW, the executive director of Turn-About Ranch. “Teens who are willing to stand up to their peers and confront them on issues will have extra privileges, participate in more activities and will eventually become managers of some of the things happening on the ranch.”
Each level has a series of lessons as well as a workbook with goals, exercises and assignments that students must complete before moving on to the next level:
“Our goal is to mold every student into a Level 4, whether they came to us with natural leadership skills or not,” says Hatch. “Very few students fail to reach Level 4 before they finish the program.”
A Positive Peer Community
The emphasis on leadership at Turn-About Ranch breeds a positive peer community whereby Level 4 students serve as mentors to newer students. When students see each other building stronger, more trusting relationships with the staff and doing more enjoyable activities, they are motivated to become leaders themselves.
As teens work through the levels, they build self-esteem and a sense of empowerment. They realize that their lives can be different than they were before and that making good choices makes life better for everyone.
“It feels better to have more freedom than to have privileges and trust taken away,” notes Marty Ormond, program director at Turn-About Ranch. “Our students aren’t behaving to get tangible rewards; rather, they learn that following the rules makes them happier.”
The Courage to Lead
Leadership skills help teens deal with peer pressure and become better managers of themselves. “Leadership is part of any success we have in life, whether that is becoming president, a parent or a businessperson,” says Ormond. “One thing all successful leaders have in common is that they took on responsibility at a young age.”
At Turn-About Ranch, teens are accountable from the beginning for themselves, their chores and the animals on the ranch. In many cases, they feel so good about their successes and their transformation that they return years later to spend a summer helping other teens, working on the ranch or visiting the staff.
But, as teens learn at the ranch, being a leader is never easy. “It takes a lot of courage for a teen to step up as a leader,” notes Fry. “They become more visible, more of a target for jealous peers and have more expected of them. But those who have the secure sense of self required to step into a leadership role will reap the rewards of greater self-esteem and more fulfilling relationships.”
Every decision has consequences - a good decision brings both tangible and intangible rewards, and a poor decision brings disappointment. When struggling teens begin to experience the logical consequences of their choices, they start to understand why following the rules and standing up for what is right makes life better. Gradually what begins to emerge from these realizations is a leader - a young person you are proud to know and even prouder to call your child.