By Judy Shepps Battle
"Some days I feel fat and stupid and that no one likes me. I hate going to school and I hate being at home. The only time I am comfortable is when I am out with my friends and sometimes even that doesn't work."
Jane S., High School sophomore
Adolescence is a life stage characterized by comparison and doubt. Teens constantly evaluate their physical appearance, intelligence, popularity, and stylishness and wonder if they are "good enough."
The development of healthy self-esteem requires that they get more "yes" answers to this question than not. If this fails to happen, a youngster may try to repair his or her negative self-image with ill thought-out behavior involving chemical substances and sexual relationships. Underachieving adolescents are at a particular high risk of engaging in these harmful coping mechanisms.
The Pain of Feeling Inadequate
For an academic underachiever, quarterly report cards and parent conferences are concrete reminders of not being "good enough." Low or failing grades produce shame, frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, and peer group rejection. Feelings of competence may be irrevocably undermined.
For the student with a learning disability or different learning style such feelings may be particularly acute. As early as elementary school, an undiagnosed learning disabled youth may dread going to school and develop physical illnesses in order to stay home.
Research shows that children and adolescents with learning disabilities tend to score higher on scales of anxiety and depression than their non-disabled counterparts. One study found that 20 to 30 percent of children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) experience anxiety disorders and up to 75 percent experience depression.
Said one underachieving high school junior:
"It really hurts to listen to kids talk about choosing great colleges and how worried they are about getting accepted. They were my friends growing up and we played recreation league sports together. We were all in the same classes, rode the school bus, and ate lunch together. Now we live in two different worlds and I feel really sad about that sometimes."
It is understandable that a teen who cannot tap into academic success as a source of self-esteem will try to dull the pain of that failure and create another arena of success. Seen in this context, the use of chemical substances and risky sexual activities are primitive efforts to relieve anxiety and foster self-esteem.
The trouble is that they don't work for very long.
Dulling the Pain With Chemicals
Researchers have known for decades that academic failure and underachievement are good predictors of later substance abuse. School-related factors that increase the likelihood of such maladaptive behavior include:
* being held back a grade in school
* low grade point average
* experience of school failure particularly in grades four, five, and six
* early and persistent behavioral problems
* low commitment to school
* peer rejection in the elementary grades
When these self-esteem factors are compounded by being initiated into alcohol use at an early age, the likelihood of alcohol-related problems in late adolescence increases substantially.
In addition, academically underachieving youth who have been held back a grade and have a low grade point average are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior than their achieving peers.
Adding Sex to the EquationCertain illicit drugs, such as the club drug Ecstasy, create artificial sensations of deep empathy and oneness with peers as well as a feeling of acceptance and community. In the hours that the drug is working, the user feels whole. Self-esteem overflows and memories of academic underachievement fade.
Unfortunately, when the drug wears off the feelings of low self-esteem, aloneness, and being unwanted return in force. If unprotected sex has occurred, then additional problems may complicate an already tenuous emotional situation.
We know that teenagers who consume alcohol or take illicit drugs are more likely to engage in sex, to do so at a younger age, to have several partners, and to be less likely to use a condom.
Having the additional risk factor of low self-esteem because of underachievement makes it more likely that both substance abuse and sexual activity will take place.
Breaking the Cycle
Underachieving teens often turn to chemical and social "fixes" to relieve the emotional pain of low self-esteem. Abuse of alcohol and other drugs, as well as engaging in risky sexual activities, are two common means of coping. Unfortunately, these misguided attempts may create a more negative self-image.
Repairing an underachiever's damaged self-esteem requires joint effort by parents and school to identify and support a youth's unique strengths and learning style. This may involve small class size and low teacher-student ratios, emotional education, opportunities to explore non-academic interests, and a strong expectation of success on the part of the adolescent.
Such programs are not inexpensive but they are effective in producing healthy adults.
Jake's Story
In the words of a recent graduate of an alternative education program:
"I am not sure at what point I started feeling good about myself. It just kinda 'happened.'
"When I came into the program I was so angry that I wasn't old enough to quit school. I sat in class silent and went out every night with my friends and got wasted. My teachers talked to me and we made little agreements about what I would do in class. Like I promised to bring my notebook every day. Then I promised to write down the homework assignment. They were all little things and I didn't feel pushed to do them.
"One day I discovered that the program had a camcorder. I love to shoot film and asked if I could borrow it. They let me make a movie with it. It was so cool! We showed it in class and a man from the newspaper wrote a story about it.
"I started working with an independent film producer and now I work with him full time. He says I have a natural talent and should go far. Oh yeah, I don't get wasted with my friends any more and I don't go to the clubs. There just isn't enough time!"
Copyright 2002 Judy Shepps Battle